Only Myself To Blame. . I see faces in the clouds They share a stern expression They're raining scorn on me For losing your affection. . I hear the leaves on the trees They whisper as I walk by They tell me I deserve Each lonely tear I cry. . chorus All I can do Is hang my head in shame I lost you And I've only myself to blame . When I said I didn't care As you packed your clothes I was cruel and selfish With every word I chose. . I let self importance Come between you and me I never knew how painful Life without you would be. . chorus bridge The sun rises every morning Life goes on, so they say But I can't forgive myself For pushing you away. . chorus _________________________
Barbie Got In The Way. . We'd been necking for months and I was fed up driving her home So I said move in babe it's time we quit sleeping alone, She beamed like a flashlight and threw her arms around me I was cool when she said can I bring along Barbie. . I didn't see any hastle in a plastic bimbo doll But I was soon living, with Barbie wall to wall, Like a sneaky invasion I found myself surrounded I didn't need a dictionary to understand dumbfounded. . She parked Barbies limmo right beside the kitchen door I stubbed a toe on it and scratched my laminate floor, Barbie toys and outfits were scattered everywhere When I sat on a ski pole the whole street heard me swear. . I kept chewing my lip though I was itching to blow My temperament was bubbling like a dodgy volcano, I tried to be tactful but I failed miserably Guess I'll never win a medal for diplomicy. . All I said was my place is getting pretty crowded babe How's about selling that Barbie junk on e bay, She mutated into Madusa in a manic instant I was petrified like a drunk knife throwers assistant. . Well she called her dad and then she started packing While he was loading his truck her dad did his back in We could've found that thing you don't find every day It's crying a shame that Barbie got in the way. ____________________________________________________
Twenty Two Candles
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I was on guard when chief said soldier what age are you
I said sir I’m twenty one but tomorrow I’ll be twenty two
He rubbed his weary eyes and bowed his noble head
He said before this day is over son we will all be dead.
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I said chief we are brave men we will crush the enemy
He said we are surrounded and out numbered one to three
I picked up a blade of grass and threw it high in the air
Said chief if we attack at dawn we’ll strike them unaware.
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Puzzled thoughts in his mind were obvious to detect
How could a young recruit command his true respect
I pointed my gun to the sky where the sun would rise
Said with sun and wind behind us escape can be our prize.
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The chief raised an eyebrow then he scratched his chin
He said escape is a victory in a battle we cannot win
He summoned his commanders and they made a plan
The orders were dispatched to each and every man.
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The sun cleared the horizon we charged the enemy line
The sun and wind rendered the enemy almost blind
We broke through some wounded but no soldier lost
Blew up the bridge at the river after we had crossed
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We marched on and into the forest then we set up camp
Pitched our tents in the glow from our paraffin lamps
Never In Love. . You're perched up on that bar stool Wallowing in self inflicted gloom Clutching a whiskey glass Resembling something from a tomb, Telling anyone who will listen That you loved her madly If you're speaking the truth Why did you treat her so badly. . Take a reality check Stop the bus and get off Like a bleeding heart singer You were never in love. . You talk about a fire that died That's just a hand me down excuse The flame would still be alive If you'd dealt with certain issues, When she needed you to be there Or when she rejected you You waxed self importance The way a sulking child would do. . bridge If you'd loved her half as much as you say She'd be in your arms today, But you chose late nights Under bar room lights When things didn't go your way. . Take a reality check Stop the bus and get off Like a bleeding heart singer You were never in love. . Like a bleeding heart singer You were, Never in love. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Cantilever Tool Box. . Baby said whatcha want for your birthday I told her dont get me no shirts or socks Said honey if you wanna make my day Buy me a cantilever tool box, I can just see it sittin in the closet All my tools neat n safe inside Well odd jobs would be a pleasure I'd have a constant source of pride. . chorus Cantilever tool box Made outta tin Dont want a plastic one They just cave in, Four slidin shelves Two built in locks I wanna Cantilever tool box. . Wouldn't do what Jake the plumber did He reversed over his one Jake nearly had a heart attack When he saw the damage he'd done, That tool box had been his companion For near on twenty seven years Well it aint hardly surprisin Jake broke down in a flood of tears. . chorus bridge On Sunday afternoons I'll pretend I'm fixing the car With my C T B right beside me When nosey Sam next door sees it I'll watch him turn green with envy. . Well my birthday came and went Like the two dozen before Didn't get my perfect present I got more than I bargained for, Baby said stores had all sold out So she bought sexy underwear I got a birthday to remember But I cant find my pliers anywhere .
Who's Been Drinking My Whiskey. . I'm in a similar incident To that three bear fairy tale Cept Goldilocks aint here She's in Fort Lauderdale . It aint my steaming porridge That's vanished into thin air I checked all my hide outs Cant find a drop anywhere. . chorus Who's been drinking my whiskey Somebody tell me My memory's slightly misty Who's been drinking my whiskey. . There's six dead bottles In my recycling bin And it's barely a week Since I did my shopping. . I think my house is haunted Gotta be a ghost around here He's probably unconcious Or grinning from ear to ear. . chorus . bridge Nobody been sleeping in my bed Or relaxing on my comfy throne I can't work it out in my head How I'm in this fairy tale zone. . chorus
